Remembering the past

Remembering the past
Speaking with old friends
Days once buried as a past life
Memories of stone walls and barbed wire

The heart broken day after day
Compassion exploited as a weapon
Dreams crushed daily
Every voice speaking words of condemnation

It seems that the world was damned
Hostile forces were everywhere
Life was nothing more than competition
The past seemed a world without love

Remembering the question: “How can God love me?”
Being taught that humanity is unlovable
Identifying with humanity
Accepting my role as unlovable

Afraid to seek out
Unwilling to share pain and loneliness
Wishing and praying to see the world change
Angry because power destroyed the helpless

The heart broke until life turned numb
Compassion died as the heart would not reform
Pain became a way of life
Constant pain becomes unnoticed

The heartless one sought to survive
Seeking knowledge to escape suffering
Suffering continues forever
The heart cannot find its way alone


2 comments on “Remembering the past

  1. MDJ, are you okay? This poems is extraordinarily sad. I hope you are doing well and feeling more hopeful and blessed!

    • Normally, we don’t have to explain poetry, but in this case I guess I should. I’m doing well — I could not be happier. Very recently I re-met a person I’ve not seen for 20 years. We talked about growing up in Kansas, and I remembered that sometimes childhood memories are not good. This poem is inspired by that conversation.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s