Thoughts of a kid caught cutting

My eyes drop below the book,
Not knowing whether to feel ashamed or angry
Trapped the heart sinks lower and lower
The observations feel like utter contempt

How can he know who I am?
How can he know what I do?
Everything is changing all at once
My literature teacher tells me we are growing adult minds

Right and wrong do seem more confusing then before
Stories that were only words start to make sense
History… I still do not know why we must know that crap
I do finally understand that sometimes I look for the lesser evil.

Unfortunately, It is the history teacher
That stern, mean man
He never understands
I never understand him

Learning and changing does not stop!
Does he know that my friend lost her father?
Sometimes tears are more important than books
I could not hear while thinking that someone maybe alone

A pencil? I have one now
Waiting and listening…
Wanting to be close and at hand
Wanting a distraction from the painful silence

Guilty, all too true
Sitting in the food court after school
A long day, when I pretended to be sick
No matter what, today I feel guilty.

Sheepishly I hide my head behind the book
I stare at my feet, not succeeding to mumble
Hoping that the teacher will walk away….
Hoping to be alone when my friend returns from the bathroom

Detention was already calculated
I have a friend who can give me notes
It is not Monday, there will be no quiz
No homework is due, detention is a fair payment

The teacher is still talking!
How long can this be?
If my friend sees him, she will be embarrassed
She already has cried enough

I continue to hide, heart beating
Even the right choice carries consequences

Inspired by Henry Toromoreno


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