I guess it is because we live in a culture that experts us to be persons on our own time. Whether we like it or not, the majority of us are ruled by the time clock — yes, there is something freeing about clocking in and out of work — but, a factory worker must lay aside what is personal for several hours at a time, and instead fulfill his function — there is time to focus on personal issues off the clock. Unfortunately a clergyman never clocks out. Even on scheduled days off, there is a sense of being on call (unless the faith community is blessed with other people who can cover the needs of pastoral care). If we are used to being a person ‘on our own time’. If we lack of a sense of own time we might forget to take it.

Another reason seems to be that the general population forget that pastors are also people. A Friend’s minister from Guatemala named Carlos Moran once attended a business meeting where a monthly meeting was discussing which side to take in a regional controversy. Two well known and well respected ministers were fighting. While Carlos was only visiting, he felt it was important to weigh in and he told a story.

When farmers plough their fields, they set up some sort of landmark so that they could keep their eyes on it and plough straight rows. One farmer went to plough his field, and set his eye on something white in the distance. He followed it carefully moving forward until he found that it was a sheep. Looking back, he saw that the row was far from straight, because as the sheep wondered he followed it ploughing a crooked row. Because he failed to do the work correctly, he was forced to level the ground and plough again setting his eyes on something that did not move.

He went on to tell them that they were arguing about which sheep to set as a landmark. No matter what they chose, they would still be using a sheep as a reference point, and either way they would fail to plough a straight row, because sheep move randomly. He suggested that they find a way to fix their eyes on Jesus, instead of sheep.

I notice something important from this story. Both of these sheep served their local worship communities in some sort of pastoral role. When we name someone pastor, the pastor is in some sense both shepherd and sheep. There is a danger of the congregation elevating the pastor to something beyond a person to their own ruination — yet, if they are looking for someone who is more than human, they might hire someone who has forgotten.

I still don’t have the answers, but I have questions:

What does it mean to be sheep and shepherd?
How can we be true to self while accomplishing goals set by others?
How can we teach people to look to stable landmark instead of another sheep?
How do we make enough time for self and family when demands are greater than total time?

We learn to put away stories
All things but facts becoming childish things
We memorize names and dates
We forget about history

Reading poetry after poetry was forgotten
Looking for facts in the metaphor
Finding details, but missing the point
For we put our stories behind us

Yet sometimes we must reach out and find poetry
For some things cannot be reduced to equations

When I have interviewed for pastor, the congregation was looking for a preacher. Judging from the words I hear people say about preaching — they want someone to profess God’s Word so that by hearing people may believe (Romans 10:14). If I go deeper, they are looking for someone to bring them God’s grace. Preaching is to be sacramental but, any other sacraments which are administered (Eucharist, Baptism, et c.) are duties of the Pastor.

As a Quaker, I believe that God administers Grace generously, and not by the whims of a human dignitary. I have the same difficulty with “the message” being the means of distributing God’s grace as I do with the Eucharist as THE means of grace. While I (personally) recognize the value of a prophetic message — I do see it as the work of God’s grace, I do not believe that God limits grace to what an official can distribute (whether the sacrament is physical or audible). God’s grace is more than enough, and does not need to be rationed.

As a reader of scripture, I notice that pastors are listed beside ‘Apostles, prophets, evangelists, shepherds and teachers’ (Ephesians 4:11) If the preacher is professing God’s Word that is the work of a prophet. The language of Ephesians does not imply that the pastor is also an evangelist, or also a preacher — to me, it implies the work of a pastor is distinct from teaching, preaching, evangelizing, and missionary work.

From classes, books, and experience with pastors I have learned the real work professional Pastors do during the week is what we call Pastoral Care. There is no doubt that there have been caregivers as long as there has been a church. When I read scripture, I see both deacons and elders offering care — also, I see Jesus offering care.

Friends everywhere used to have a pastoral care committee called “Overseers”. After the pastoral system, most Yearly Meetings have dropped overseers as no longer necessary — unfortunately, this means that the job description of ‘pastor,’ when clearly given includes EVERY task the pastor as employee has absorbed (whether preaching, or pastoral care, or evangelism, or executive secretary, et c.) Fortunately some Yearly Meetings have found a reason to keep Overseers. Baltimore Yearly Meeting has a description of the duties of “Overseers” which fits my understanding of the current views on Pastoral Care.

4. Overseers
Care of the individual members of the Meeting is the responsibility of the Committee of Overseers. Overseers should encourage each member to participate fully in the Meeting community’s life and to perform faithfully his or her Meeting commitments. To this end, Overseers should:
*Be acquainted with all members and regular attenders, and be aware of needs for encouragement and support.
*Receive, consider and recommend Meeting action on requests for and withdrawals from membership.
*Help prospective members and new members to understand Friends’ principles and practices.
*Identify members’ special gifts and talents. Seek clearness on the special nature of the gift and the way it is to be recognized. When clearness is attained, forward any appropriate recommendations to the meeting for business and any appropriate Quarterly or Yearly Meeting Committee.
*Assist in setting up clearness and support committees for those who need or request them.
*Provide clearness committees to assist couples contemplating marriage under the care of the Meeting7.
*Assist with arrangements in time of death.8
*Encourage visiting and community life among the Meeting’s members, and see that ill, troubled or needy Friends are visited and helped.
*Get in touch with absent members and keep contact with non-resident members.
*Help to reconcile differences which may arise in the Meeting.
Many duties of Overseers are delicate and personal. In such areas, the committee’s proceedings are kept confidential and the dignity of the persons concerned is respected.

Again, I see this ministry as necessary however, I protest that the term “Pastor” (Shepherd) contains the very idea of herding. Pastoral Care seems to be a ministry to the individual and not the community at large.

When I look at scripture I see shepherd used in various ways. I see literal shepherds (children and the lowest quality of workers) who watch for danger and try to keep the flocks from being scattered, some poetic references comparing God to a Shepherd. I see in the New Testament, Jesus identifying with the Divine Shepherd, and a passing comment that God gives some to shepherd God’s Church. I am not sure how much Pastors are expected to be like the Good Shepherd who gives His life for the sheep. (John 10:6-18) Until I know this, I don’t know for certain what the work of pastor is, except of course to try to keep the flock together and to bring it back together if it is scattered.

I know there are only a few days
There is work to accomplish
Yet the time comes when things change
Today’s work may not be that of tomorrow

Planning and dreaming
Hoping that the preparation is enough
Fear and excitement are mixed
I am counting days again

This separation from Christian community has brought me to think about what is important. There is a lot that I love about the house church — and the intimacy of small groups — sermons on the radio or internet mixed with a house church could replace almost everything people expect from church. Almost all of the time clergy are not necessary. (as a Quaker, I might go so far to argue that they really are not strictly necessary.)

As a seminarian, I would hope that there is a place for vocational ministry. I would hope that there is a place for spiritual direction, personal pastoral care and visitation, etc. The truth is that while people are well meaning — so many of us are miserable comforters, and sometimes we are rather foolish when giving advice. While my seminary education will not assure that I will become a skilled caregiver, nor will it ensure that I am not a fool — it should train me to avoid several of the worst pitfalls. The house-church might not be equipped to deal with a death, or to prepare for a wedding. When I am separated from my community, I lose my connection with both ordinary fellowship, and the periodic crisis (whether joyful or sorrowful) that my community faces. If we threw out training and recognition that some have gifts that others do not — we would be limited to the well meaning blundering of busybodies. If we only came together in small groups — we would not be able to share the burden of life changing events.

If we get our needs for sermons, etc. outside of church — and should focus on fellowship and being a community, as someone with a religious vocation, I think my role would be to focus on pastoral care and spiritual direction. I would not need to worry about impressing people that I can make a clever speech, but instead demonstrate that I care about their lives and their spirituality. I for one will not be jealous of the radio — instead, hope I to strengthen individuals and the community. When it comes time to leave for another place — I pray they are strong enough to make it without me.

Now, as to hearing a sermon to-day, if you wish to do so, you can either go to a church to hear it or stay at home.”

“How am I to hear it if I stay at home?”

“Simply by accompanying us to the music room at the proper hour and selecting an easy chair. There are some who still prefer to hear sermons in church, but most of our preaching, like our musical performances, is not in public, but delivered in acoustically prepared chambers, connected by wire with subscribers’ houses. If you prefer to go to a church I shall be glad to accompany you, but I really don’t believe you are likely to hear anywhere a better discourse than you will at home. I see by the paper that Mr. Barton is to preach this morning, and he preaches only by telephone, and to audiences often reaching 150,000.”

(Looking Backward by Edward Bellamy)

We live in this world — I can have all the sermons I want on the radio, and even more on the internet. Why is it that anyone would go to church. If the primary role of church is a setting for a sermon, then there is no reason to go.

To me, this suggests that if we want our churches to survive, we need to look at what roles the church plays outside of the sermon. We need to consider the role of a ‘pastor’, and de-emphasize the concept of a devoted preacher.

A church is, before anything else, a Christian community. Radio cannot provide this, and the internet only provides an insubstantial shadow. When we meet together, we can break bread, share our lives with one another, pray together, and encourage one another. If we lose our sense of community and shared life — we might as well listen to the sermons on the radio and internet.

Is violence the only way to speak?
Are the police the soldiers of the wealthy?
What is the role of the worker?
Have we returned to the industrial revolution?

Will unions rise?
Will there be new Pinkertons to break the Unions?
Will innocents be shot for the sake of a few dollars?
How do they sort the non violent from the rioters?

The world seems run by fraud
Charges for services never rendered
Always taking, never giving
The masses existing to enrich the few

The wealthiest have the best justice money can buy
But, is justice at a high price just?

Is not God stronger willed than any person?
Why would God listen?
How many people want something different than me?
Who will God hear?

Would a God who obeyed us be any sort of God?
Is there a way to make God do what I want?
Why would I want to pray?
Will not God do what God wishes?

Unless God loves me
Unless I pray for another reason
Perhaps there is no reason to change God
Perhaps I need God to change me

Why is it that we face life?
Why do we promise to accept the bad with the good?
If love is accepting both, is it rare?
It seems we are afraid to accept the hard moments

The same one who fears abandonment leaves –
Do we undervalue love?
What is more wonderful than staying
knowing that in all the world something, somewhere is safe.

Who would forget?
To forget would be to lose everything
To build a house with your own hands
Only to set it on fire and watch it burn

The house is secure and safe
So I will live there

Do we escape or differentiate?
but we cannot escape what is inside
Old habits remain even in a new place
How do we create a new life?

Is there a place, or do we just hold?
Do we build a home, or travel with home?
Where is the heart, is that where the home is?
So many decisions — what will tomorrow bring?

The bad thing about going back to school is how expenses actually increase as income seems to vanish — I am currently taking a semester off to save a little money for next semester, working at the Amazon warehouse. While I miss classes, I enjoy having an income.

The heart wants to cross the hours
There are so many dreams to chase
Can one be homesick for a lost moment?
The heart says that home is both time and place

Yet time is a cruel river
Taunting as I stand looking across
Knowing that there is not a mile to cross
Yet when I arrive it will be too late

Time leaves the heart helpless
Some things are beyond control

There is never a time we are not “caught”
The heart knows every action
Does the heart punish?
Is there not sympathy?

Yet so many are locked up
So many are without sympathy
They say the jail is built as soon as the church
A place for people with no use for repentance

The heart wonders the mix of shame and shamelessness
So many feel the guilt of others
So many are unaware of their own actions
Why is humanity so very different from one another

What will be written upon the heart of a man?
Will it ever be read as if it were written upon the shirt?
If the words are read will any look past their own hearts?
There seems shame enough to go around

Grand adventures written while locked in a closet
The open sea the salt air on the face
Just a table, a stack of paper, and a pen
A lamp for light as there is no window

What creates such dreams?
Can the writer write without experience?
Can he describe death without seeing it?
What drives the pen across the page?

The press continues to print
Every hand it seems has touched the book
Millions read
Generations read and read again

The writer continues to write
Praying that one day sales will be enough
Hoping that there will no longer be worry
Hoping to see the sun instead of the locked closet

What does the left hand know?
How can one hand be ignorant of the other?
What good deeds are done with only a small part of self?
What if the two hands work together?

Do trumpets announce good deeds?
Who could imagine such an declaration?
Would a banquette be less pretentious?
What would a wealthy man do if he could not give publicly?

Why can’t a person be good publicly?
Are not some of higher quality than others?
Why would the superior pretend to be equals?
Why not offer proof of the superiority?

Jesus talks and the crowds listen
Wondering that he condemns the ways of the world